• Banana_man@reddthat.comOP
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      1 year ago

      I feel like I lose myself if I feel good and do things I regret. I don’t like the person I am when I’m feeling good so I choose not to feel good at all.

        • Banana_man@reddthat.comOP
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          1 year ago

          That’s sweet of you, thank you. It’s kind of like I get drunk on the emotion and become more like the person I was before working on myself. More selfish, more insensitive, etc. I want to feel good about things but I don’t want to lose myself doing it. It feels degrading, both in the moment and also after. I become able to see myself do stupid things but can’t interfere no matter how I feel inside.