i spent the last six months doing nothing at work because there was nothing for me to do, and i’ve just been doing “code doodles”. snippets that don’t do anything. i don’t think it’s because i wanted to make them, i just wanted to look like i was doing something. my proof is that now that i’ve been laid off (because there was nothing for me to do), i don’t find myself wanting to do anything in particular, but wanting to do something. every single thing feels forced, but when i try to get my brain to actually tell me what it is i do want i just get nothing.
Do you have ADHD by any chance? Because I do, and that sounds kinda familiar.
That constant urge to be creating something. Or more to the point; to have already created something, something that wasn’t the thing you have to work on for your wage.
I mostly manage to quieten that urge by doing a weekly radio show.
i would love to know. the official stance of public healthcare here is that “if you can function in society, evaluation of a diagnosis is not needed”. and getting it done through a private actor costs money that i can not spend right now.
Sometimes finding the right thing, on a day that you have the right energy and focus, is the hard part. A lot of people face something similar when they enter retirement.
If you’re taking suggestions - I enjoy making things, quite often what I enjoy is looking at something someone else (or some company) made and figuring out how to do it myself/build the skills necessary to do it/improve on the original design.
i spent the last six months doing nothing at work because there was nothing for me to do, and i’ve just been doing “code doodles”. snippets that don’t do anything. i don’t think it’s because i wanted to make them, i just wanted to look like i was doing something. my proof is that now that i’ve been laid off (because there was nothing for me to do), i don’t find myself wanting to do anything in particular, but wanting to do something. every single thing feels forced, but when i try to get my brain to actually tell me what it is i do want i just get nothing.
Do you have ADHD by any chance? Because I do, and that sounds kinda familiar.
That constant urge to be creating something. Or more to the point; to have already created something, something that wasn’t the thing you have to work on for your wage.
I mostly manage to quieten that urge by doing a weekly radio show.
i would love to know. the official stance of public healthcare here is that “if you can function in society, evaluation of a diagnosis is not needed”. and getting it done through a private actor costs money that i can not spend right now.
Sometimes finding the right thing, on a day that you have the right energy and focus, is the hard part. A lot of people face something similar when they enter retirement.
i’ve faced it since age 10. i’ve always wondered how people create.
If you’re taking suggestions - I enjoy making things, quite often what I enjoy is looking at something someone else (or some company) made and figuring out how to do it myself/build the skills necessary to do it/improve on the original design.
i will always take the option to watch other people do things. whenever i try to do it myself it always turns to shit.
Haha, that’s fair, but it’s also how we get better.