I told this story on here before, which I recognize is a cop out but I just love telling it. I’m rewriting it here because I think I can do better. Anyway y’all just be thankful you ain’t gotta hear it every time we smoke in real life 😂

The first time I ever smoked pot was with a bunch of juggalos at the freshman homecoming game. I don’t know if y’all have high school football where you live, but homecoming happens pretty close to the beginning of the year so it was probably like early September. I’d spent all summer tryna kiss this girl, and she was friends with these Juggalos, so me and her went to the game together and met up with them at the park behind the football field.

One of the juggalos pulled out one of those aluminum bowls that turns into a necklace and a cigarette wrapper filled with some good ol’ dry as fuck, seedy, stemmy, schwag ass, class of 2009 Mexican brick weed. Y’all remember how bad weed used to be? Kids today don’t know how good they have it fr.

So he gives me the first hit and I was like “bro I’m not gonna lie to you guys I’ve never smoked before, what do I do?” So dude blasts it and hands it back to me, and I fucking BLASTED it. And proceeded to be the coolest, funniest dude in the whole world. That’s actually where I got the name Bizzle, was that night from those juggalos. In fact, I was so cool that that girl even kissed me. It never went anywhere else, but she totally did.

So pretty soon the police come over and the girl and the juggalos are like “oh shit it’s the cops! Run!” but I was too stoned to run and I’m a white bread honors student so I figured I’d be in less trouble if I just lied, and I totally did (first time I ever lied to the police 🐷) and said I’d never seen those guys before, and they were like “you should go back in then” so I did. And I met back up with those guys and told them I didn’t sell them out, so they all thought I was extra cool. I’m not really a juggalo, and like I said nothing ever happened with that girl (except she married the bass player from my first band 🙄), but I always did have some Homies 2 Smoke With.